Epic Fullmetal Alchemist Death Note Crossover
by xBeyondxBirthriceballx
Summary: L leaves the Kira case and takes on the Scar case in Amestris. Haunted by memories of Light, he tries to find someone new. HIATUS: OVER!
1. Why L Decided to Quit the Kira Case

A/N: Hey guys! This is my very first crossover fic, so, we'll just see how it goes. I really like this idea and I'm really looking forward to writing it. About the Fullmetal Alchemist part, I really worked hard to make sure that all the events fit in to place. I researched everything and I'm trying to make it as true to the story as possible, but I will probably mess up sometime with the timing of things. So, if that happens do your best to ignore it.  
By the way, this is based off the anime versions of both FMA and DN. (Psst, not Brotherhood)  
Constructive criticism is HUGELY appreciated. And I would really like to get at least ONE review before I post the first chapter, yeah?

I don't own Death Note or Fullmetal Alchemist, but if I did it would go a little something like this...

Epic Fullmetal Alchemist/ Death Note Crossover  
Written by ~Taylor~  
Preface  
Why L decided to quit the Kira case

L had finally decided to quit the Kira case.

It took a lot of thought, and wavering, and making pros and cons charts in his mind, but in the end it had boiled down to just two main reasons.

One, L was bored. So much so, that it had made an impact on his efficiency. He was just as useless as Matsuda. The detective wasn't thinking clearly, his ambition and drive that he had when the case had first opened was all gone. L just didn't care anymore.

Light Yagami was proven _not_ to be Kira when he had installed video cameras in the Yagami household. He was proven _not_ to be Kira when he was incarcerated and criminals kept dying. He was proven _not_ to be Kira when Higuchi _was_ proven to be Kira.

But yet he was still under suspicion.

That alone _should _be enough to verify his culpability, but that wasn't how things worked. You need solid proof, and that's what they didn't have.

And after the recent discovery of the Death Note, it seemed like Light really _wasn't _Kira. L had actually considered the possibility, _what if Light Yagami really wasn't Kira? What if all this time I'd been chasing after the wrong person?_ the likelihood of that being true had scared the raven-haired detective. It was hard to grasp the concept that his deduction was wrong. Even though it frightened the poor bastard to death, he _wanted_ to believe it. He wanted to believe with all his heart that Light Yagami wasn't Kira.

Mainly because of the second reason. Which was, that L was in love with him.

Yes, the Great, mysterious, world famous, L was in love with the man believed to be Kira. It made things that much more complicated. So now, knowing that Light Yagami was Kira, and knowing that he might even be intelligent enough to outsmart himself, and knowing that it would be even harder to arrest him now because of his love for the boy, and also knowing that Light didn't love him back, he had still managed to fall head over heels for him.

That is why he was quitting the Kira case.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is more of a preface than a chapter. It's just so you know _why_ L is quitting. I guess. (creative chapter title, I know right)  
It's way shorter than the regular chapters will be, just so you know. I'm not on of those people that posts like 200 600 word chapters. And most of this was author's notes anyway…  
It took me sooooo long to write this chapter though. I just couldn't find the write words and I rewrote it like 6 times and its like 7 am here. Grrrrr, I'm sleepy.

~Taylor~


	2. L's Resignation

A/N: Hey everybody! This is the first "real" chapter. I don't remember if I said this already, but just to clarify some stuff, This story takes place right after the events of episode 24 in Death Note, and it will take place somewhere in between episodes 13 and 14 in Fullmetal Alchemist.  
Also this chapter is really long, and don't expect any future chapters to be this lengthy.

* * *

I don't own Death Note or Fullmetal Alchemist, but if I did it would go a little something like this...

Epic Fullmetal Alchemist/ Death Note Crossover  
Written by ~Taylor~

Chapter 1  
L's resignation

"Ryuzaki, are you sure that quitting is the best option? We've made so much progress with your help, and to be honest, we can't close this case without you." Soichiro was thoroughly confused as to why the detective had decided that it was time to quit now. Soichiro had actually grown quite fond of the quirky, raven-haired detective, he hated to see him up and leave so abruptly.

"My successor, Near will be here in the morning. He's just as capable as I am, if not more so." L replied emotionlessly as he closed his laptop and placed it delicately into his messenger bag.

"We'll really miss you L!" Matsuda cried, earning him a smack on the arm from a nearby Aizawa. "Oh! Sorry, Ryuzaki!"

"Seriously, Ryuzaki, you're only reason for quitting _can't_ be just that you're bored with the case. Did we do something wrong?" Light sounded genuinely concerned. It made L sick.

L slowly put the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder and picked up his suitcase, "You're right, Light, I do have other reasons for leaving, but I feel that if I discussed them with you, the situation would become even more convoluted."

"Ryuzaki, if you just tell us, maybe we can try to fix it. Is it something we did?" Light inquired.

"No. It has nothing to do with any of you." That was a lie.

"Oh." Light looked legitimately offended. "I get it now Ryuzaki. I didn't know you were such a coward."

Wait what?

Light gave the socially awkward man a disappointed look. "You're afraid that you're going to die."

The whole task force was confused by the young adult's accusation. Afraid to die? What the bloody hell did he mean by that?

"You're afraid that I'm Kira, and if you stay here too much longer, then I'll figure out a way to kill you, so you're leaving before I get the chance to."

L was annoyed by the allegation. He had more pride than that, L would never leave a case for a stupid reason, like saving his own life. "No, you've got it all wrong." L figured the fastest way to end this way to just come out with the truth.

"Oh really? Then why?"

"I can't work with the task force anymore because I'm in love with Light."

The task force was astounded. Never had they dreamed of the great detective, L, having such a ludicrous excuse for quitting. They were expecting a maybe a family problem, or something kind of like what Light had accused him of doing. That was at least more believable than what he'd actually said.

"That might be a little hard to swallow, but I promise you, it's the truth. And that is why I have to go."

L delicately picked up a cupcake from the table and walked away, leaving a horrified and baffled task force in his wake.

* * *

"L, did you mean what you said in there, about being in love with Mister Yagami?" Watari asked after the two had been in the car for a while.

L didn't know what to think about Watari asking him that. It seemed just a little out of character for the reserved caretaker.

"Yes, I did."

"I never realized, you hide your emotions well."

"Thank you for noticing, Watari." L chewed on his thumbnail. "Remember the other day when you told me about the Scar case?"

"Of course." Watari answered merrily, not taking his eyes off the road.

"I'd like to work on it." It would be a good way to get his mind off Light, and also he would be able to avoid seeing Mello, since he would most likely be angry with his decision to make Near his successor.

"I thought you would say that." Sometimes it seemed like Watari knew everything.

"How would a person explode a brain from the inside?" He asked him self while chewing on the skin around his finger nail. "Watari, could you send me an e-mail later with all of the information on the case and book a flight to, what is the area called? Amestris?"

"It's already done." Now L was sure, Watari knew _everything._

L opened his laptop, and sure enough, there was one new message in the puzzled detective's inbox.

He opened the letter, reading each detail slowly and carefully. Apparently, This guy, Scar, was a serial killer, who targeted only government officials, what they did for the government, wasn't specified in the letter. He killed people by blowing their brains up from the inside, L knew that much already. Also he was named Scar because a witness reported that he had a huge scar in the shape of an X across his face. "Hmm. This doesn't say much more than I already knew, oh, well it's a start." L continued to read the e-mail until all the information was etched into his mind.

"Here we are." Watari announced until he pulled into an airport.

"Huh?" L looked up from his laptop. "Huh." The troubled detective closed the portable computer and stepped out of the vehicle, placing it gently back into his white messenger bag. He closed the car door softly and began ambling into the airport with his caretaker.

After a security check, which is never a _fun_ experience might I add, the two men boarded the airplane. The flight was easily over eleven hours, of nothing especially interesting happening. The detective sat in "L mode" playing solitaire for about two hours before his handy-dandy laptop passed out due to over-use, leaving him the golden opportunity to stare at the back of the seat in front of him.

Whilst the insipid gumshoe gazed at the chair in front of him, he contemplated how one would shatter one's brains from the inside out. It seemed like an impossible task, but since the Kira case, nothing seemed impossible anymore.

The Kira case.

_Light._

No, L took on this case to get his mid _off_ of the delicious brunette, if he thought about him, it would totally defeat the purpose of even coming here. No, he had to remain focused.

_Hmm, okay, so how would someone's brain be shattered from the inside?_

The knowledgeable private eye wondered to himself, _does he use some sort of weapon? If so what? And what are his motives for killing those state officials? Did he use to work for the state himself?_

The answer to any of these questions the detective asked himself would be immensely advantageous to the case.

_What do these "state officials"_ do_ anyway? Maybe there is some sort of government conspiracy going on…_

L considered the possibility, it was definitely probable. Then again, the details of the case that L had received from Watari earlier had been pretty vague. L really couldn't make _too_ many assumptions from just that. For all he knew, everyone in Amestris could be aware of everything that was in that e-mail…

Hell, he didn't even know the names of the people already dead at the hands of this "Scar". It was frustrating.

L hated being kept in the dark.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about the begin our final descent" A warm voice said over the PA. The seatbelt sign lit up, signaling the passengers to buckle up. L reluctantly sat in a normal fashion and put on his seatbelt. "Thank you for flying with us and I hope you have a nice time on the rest of your trip."

After the process of retrieving the pair's luggage was over, L and Watari scoured the expansive airport for a candy store, or some kind of dessert shop, L had just gone 11 hours with nothing but airplane-quality desserts.

Let's say the detective wasn't in the _greatest_ of moods.

They came across a cute little store with the simple title of "Candy". That was enough for L, he practically ran in, super-duper excited that he would be able to get some decent sweets.

The cashier, seeing a grown man with a hunchback, crazy hair and excessively pale skin walking into a candy store, was to say the least, surprised. This was not something you see too often. But she didn't question his motives, she just accepted the man as who he was and asked him how she could help him in the most polite, pretty-looking way possible.

L ordered six strawberry cupcakes two dozen dark chocolate turtles, an assorted box of different types of chocolate truffles and bonbons, white chocolate covered pretzels, two caramel apples, and some outstandingly yummy looking chocolate covered strawberries. That should hold him until they got to where they were going. And L also got a 25 pack of saltwater taffy for Watari, it was his favorite.

The cashier giggled at and said, "Sure, coming right up." then she picked up the various items that L had requested, from numerous areas in the store, placing them all on the glass counter between them.

As L watched the cashier retrieve his several different items, he realized how cute she was. She had medium brown hair pulled back into a pony tail. Her bangs hung just above her chocolate brown eyes, shaped like almonds. _mmm_ L thought, _chocolate covered almonds_…

"I will also take some chocolate covered almonds too, please."

The cashier girl giggled again, she had a thing for alternative guys, and he was just too adorable, it made her smile. "Wow, that's a lot of chocolate." she stated sweetly "Will 30 be alright?"

"Mmmhmm." the sleuth answered nonchalantly.

The girl scooped up the candy and placed it in a little white paper bag placing on the glass counter with the rest of the treats. "Yummy."

"Mmmhmm." L said again, staring into the cute cashier girl's chocolate covered almond eyes.

She typed in some thing on the cash register and said, "47 Euros."

Euros, so they were in Europe? Is Amestris in Europe? L thought it was a country not a city… And he was pretty positive the Amestris was _not_ a European country. Where _was_ Amestris anyway? Watari had never _really_ informed him of where it was… he shook off the thought, L trusted Watari's judgment more than anyone, that man knows what he's doing, it was best to just go with it.

L pulled his credit card out of his pocket and handed it to cashier girl. She scanned his card and handed it back to him.

"Thank you! come again!" She called as the abnormal looking man walked out of the cute little candy store. He looked back at her attempting to smile, unable to wave seeing as his hands were full of recently bought candy, then proceeded to amble away backwards.

L could sense a presence lurking behind him, "Need any help, Ryuzaki?" he jumped a little at the voice, but sighted in relief realizing that it was Watari. _Just_ Watari.

"No, I will be fine." The startled detective insisted, setting his newly bought candy on a nearby bench. He slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and picked up the candy again, handing Watari the taffy. "For you."

The caretaker looked genuinely touched. "Thank you Ryuzaki." The elder picked up his small suitcase and L's even smaller one, and the pair went on to exit the airport.

Watari called a taxi in advance while L was busy at the candy shop so there was one waiting for them when they exited the main doorway. L entered the taxi cautiously, he had never been in one before, he wasn't all to keen on public transportation in general.

"Watari," the uncomfortable gentleman began, "Where are we?"

"We are in England." Watari answered. "There are no airports anywhere near Amestris, we will have to take a train the rest of the way there."

"Yes, I see." L opened his box of turtles and delicately placed one into his hot, moist orifice.

The candy felt so good. He had been feeling especially sleepy these last few hours, most likely due to his lack of sugar intake, but one piece of sweet, chocolatey, caramel-ly, nutty, goodness and he was back to his normal nonchalant, witty self.

After traveling for about an hour in the taxi cab, the two were dropped off at a train station. The train ride was uneventful, L continued to waver in and out of sleep throughout the whole ride. Which _was _a little unusual, since L didn't sleep to often, probably only about ten hours per week, and he had taken a nap right before he announced to the task force that he was leaving. It was something about that train that made him want to drift off into unconsciousness for a few minutes. But other than that, nothing spectacular happened.

After that, Watari had told L that they were in a place called "East City" where a friend of his, a Colonel Mustang would tell him about the case. Apparently this Colonel Mustang character had informed Roger of the "Scar situation", and Rodger, unsure of who would be good for the case, so he contacted Watari. And since L quit the Kira case, Watari gave it to him.

East City. It was an interesting little place. It had a kind of primitive, yet sophisticated feel to it. It reminded L of early 20th century England. There weren't too many cars driving around, but the ones that did pass by looked to behind the current time. It was weird, it was like L _had _stepped back into early 20th century England.

A blond man with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth approached the men, saying his name was 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc and that he was supposed to escort them to the Colonel's office.

As the two followed the 2nd Lieutenant to "Eastern Command Headquarters" The Watari said to L, "You will have to meet face to face with everyone here. It's not like back home." It's not like back home? Maybe they _did_ travel back to 20th century England. No, that's impossible. You can't travel through time, its just not possible. "You will find that you're not able to use modern technology here." L pondered this for a moment, He was deeply and thoroughly confused by the whole situation. It was completely out of character for L to be this befuddled. He was used to having the upper hand in everything that he was involved in. Though, Watari had some sort of mystical quality to him, it was like he was some kind of magician that knew all the secrets of the world.

L nodded in reply, not questioning his handler's motives. When it came to Watari, it was just best to go along with whatever he says.

The group finally arrived at the Easter Command Headquarters. The 2nd Lieutenant showed them to Colonel Roy Mustang's office and then left to go take care of other business.

The curious man opened the wooden door and held it open for Watari as he entered the spacious room. A girl, wearing a similar uniform to the one that Jean, from earlier wore, stood in the corner defensively. There was a dark haired man also wearing a similar uniform to the ones Jean and the blond wore. He had glossy sable-black hair that shined flawlessly in the light of a nearby window. The tips of his bangs were stuck together and ended in points, they hung right in font of his coal-colored windows, moving outward and getting gradually longer as they arrived closer to the sides of his face. His skin was a pallid shade of cream that looked all around fetching next to his ebony tresses and his onyx eyes. His lips were slightly parted, just a little, so that you could still tell that his mouth was open, but not enough to where you could see anything inside of it.

In short, he was beautiful.

This had to be the Colonel Mustang that L had come to report to. He was sitting at the big fancy desk, in the big fancy chair, with the big fancy office. It had to be him. Only, L had never pictured the Colonel to be this gorgeous creature in front of him.

Obviously L's lanky body shape, ultra-casual dress code, pointy hair, sallow skin and huge dark circles under his eyes caught him off guard. He sat up, shocked at the presence in front of him. "Can I… help you?" His voice was so perfect. It matched him perfectly, L was just completely so blown away by this man's utter beauty and perfection had caught him off guard as well. He needed to focus. Now was not the time to be focusing on things like how perfect Colonel Bishi was, and focus on making a good first impression.

"I am L" He did his best to sound as apathetic as he could, he usually did anyways, so it wasn't too hard.

"You're L?" The blonde in the corner said, her words choc full of disbelief.

"Yes."

The reason no one believes that L is in fact L at first, is all because of Sherlock Holmes. Yes, they always expect the Sherlock Holmes type. And it's understandable, its not easy to except that the plaid suit wearing model detective you grew up with doesn't exist while the _actual _world's greatest detective looks like an alternative freak.

"Well, L," It was the Colonel who spoke this time, "It's an honor to meet you."

* * *

A/N: I think I'm going to stop it there.  
L is so out of character, try not to hate me too much for that, but everyone is going to be at least a little out of character.  
I don't know how many chapters I'm going to write for this story… I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do next. But, I have big plans for this story, huge freaking disgusting plans. So expect the worst. ;)  
Also, thanks a lot to Howcanihepyou, she was the only person who reviewed my last chapter. You should check out her story, _My Pet Neko_, it's freaking amazing. ^^

~Taylor


	3. Edward's Something

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Fullmetal Alchemist, but if I did, it would go a little something like this…

Epic Fullmetal Alchemist/ Death Note Crossover  
Written by ~Taylor~

Chapter 2  
Edward's Something

Edward and Alphonse were about to leave to go find Dr. Marcoh. Mustang had told Edward that he was still alive, that was so great to hear. It was one more step closer to the Philosopher's Stone, and one more step closer to getting Al's body back. They were so close, Edward could almost taste it.

The boys treaded to the colonel's office hastily, the sooner they checked out the sooner they would be able to find Dr. Marcoh. And the sooner they found Dr. Marcoh, the sooner they would have the Philosopher's Stone.

As soon as the fiery blond arrived at the door, he burst in, without knocking, just interrupting anything that might be going on.

"Colonel! I'm about to-" Edward froze. "Who are you?" There was some really weird pasty-looking, dark-haired guy standing next to Roy. The man had substantial bags under his coal-black eyes which were staring deeply into the colonel's own just as black ones. His skin looked sallow and tight, like the guy hadn't eaten in weeks. His clothes were uncomfortably baggy-looking and draped loosely around his figure, his long sleeve white shirt was stretched out and over worn. His jeans looked washed out, like he hadn't had a change of clothes in years. Edward didn't know what to think of this new mysterious character, he appeared to be frail and malnourished, but there was some kind of odd vibe he was giving off, like he knew what he was doing, and the sickly exterior was all just a simple disguise, masking an amazingly strong person on the inside.

"Ed. This is Ryuzaki" Roy explained, probably annoyed that Edward had come in so unexpectedly.

"Ryuzaki, eh? So what's he doing here?" Ed asked rudely, he couldn't help it, that's how he talked to everyone.

"It's not important. Aren't you going to go look for Dr. Marcoh soon?"

He had a point, "Fine. I just came to tell you I was leaving. I don't want you to worry about me." Edward gave the colonel a little smirk. "But, should you really be talking about that in front of this guy?"

"Don't worry he's trustworthy." The colonel reassured the edgy alchemist. "So, where's the cat?"

"Cat? Oh right the cat…" The conditions of the fight that took place earlier that day, if Ed won, then Roy would tell him everything he knew about Dr. Marcoh, and he would take in the stray cat that Al found. Considering _how_ Roy lost the fight, and how much he'd helped Ed out with everything, he figured it would be too much to ask for him to take care of the cat as well. "Don't worry about it."

Alphonse gasped at Edwards sudden change of heart. I mean, how could he just tell the colonel "Not to worry about it"? Al knew that Mustang would take care of him, he was about the only one who would. It wasn't cool for Ed to just do that without asking him first, still, he probably had a good reason for it. He always did.

Edward turned around to look up at his younger brother, giving him a look that read, _just play along, I'll take care of it._

Al, being the good little brother he is, complied with his request by just standing in the background, silently, waiting for Edward to finish things up with the colonel.

"Hmm," Roy raised one eyebrow in that cocky, seductive Roy Mustang way. "Well, You both should be leaving, My _friend _and I here have some business to discuss, and _you _have a train to catch." Roy had put extra emphasis on the word _friend_, it made Ed believe that they weren't friends at all. Maybe they were rivals, but that guy didn't look like he could beat the gorgeous, talented, dangerous, Roy Mustang at anything. He didn't look like much of a threat… More than friends perhaps?

"Friends huh? Aren't you gonna introduce us?" the sassy flaxen-haired teenager asked playfully while crossing his arms.

The exasperated colonel let out a long sigh of annoyance. "Fullmetal." Edward could see that this wasn't the time or place to be harassing the colonel. Obviously this guy was really important, and he didn't want to make a bad impression.

"Fine." the young prodigy sighed in defeat. "Let's go Al." And with that he was gone as fast as he came in.

"After all the info the colonel gave us on Marcoh, we can't ask him to keep this little guy too. Equivalent exchange, we'd end up owing too much." Edward hated disappointing Alphonse, but that statement was as true as it gets.

"Yeah, I know." Al understood his brother's reasoning, but it was still hard to just leave the cat on the street like that.

The older brother clapped his hands together and slammed them down on the wooden crate the cat had been left in. A luminous azure light glowed around the makeshift cat-home, turning it into a full out baby carriage. The kitty would at least be comfortable until someone else came and rescued the poor thing.

Out of a point in nowhere time, a heavy wave of guilt washed over the elder brother. Al really liked that cat. Edward couldn't stress enough how much he didn't want to make Alphonse sad.

"I'm sorry Al, its just the best we can do." Edward said sympathetically, the moon making his golden hair shine with an angelic radiance. He walked off slowly and dramatically without looking back at the defenseless feline, and Alphonse tried his very hardest not to cry while following obediently behind.

* * *

Yeah, this chapter is really short. I'm sorry, but It's in Edward's POV :) ... and I really couldn't think of anything else to add...


	4. Roy's Blah Blah Blahhhhh

I don't own Death Note or Fullmetal Alchemist, but if I did it would go a little something like this…

Epic Fullmetal Alchemist/Death Note Crossover

Written by: Taylor

Chapter 3

Roy's blah, blah, blaaahhh

The situation hadn't been out of the ordinary for Roy, who dealt with Edward's rudeness and immaturity on a daily basis. Also the fact that a young boy was speaking so casually to someone of his rank, and that the young boy's brother was a suit of armor was no surprise either, because, again, Roy dealt with the Elric brothers all the time. Though, it must have been pretty weird for L.

It should have been, but the detective had kept the same apathetic look on his face through out the whole scene. Hell, he didn't even say anything.

"He was wearing a suit of armor." The apathetic-seeming man murmured biting his thumbnail. He appeared to be talking to himself, trying to explore all the possible reasons that someone would even need to wear a suit of armor. There weren't many.

"Those were the Elric brothers. The big one is, Alphonse and the short one is Edward. They're quite famous around here."

"Is that so?"

He must've lived pretty far away to not have heard of the Elrics. "Yes. They're both very talented alchemists, Edward was the youngest person to ever pass the state alchemy exam"

The odd-looking detective's big eyes, widened immensely as soon as Roy finished his - subconscious - bragging. L took a few steps back until he hit the wall.

"Di-did you say… _alchemist?_" L said with utter disbelief

"Uh, yeah. Hey, are you okay?" The ebony-eyed colonel asked with great concern as he walked closer to him.

"Alchemy doesn't exist." the raven-haired detective stated matter-of-factly.

Roy hadn't realized how _close_ they were now. The Colonel practically had to look straight down to be able to see the flustered investigator.

"Maybe you need to rest. You're probably just jet lagged. I'll show you to the dorms. We can talk about the case later, okay?" Roy sounded like he was talking to a child. He didn't want for the very valuable detective to have another freak out like he just did. The Colonel really hoped that L wasn't this fragile the whole time he worked on the case.

The poor guy looked so lost, like he had just been dropped off in another world. It was kind of…cute.

_No, no he isn't cute! He's a man, remember that Roy. _

_You like women, remember? You only experimented that one time, and you didn't even like it right? Right? You're straight, straight as an arrow._

_Goddammit, quit lying to yourself._

At the mercy of his homosexual thoughts, Roy said the first the that came to his mind. "Just so you know, I don't find you attractive."

_Nice one Roy._

"Huh?"

Right out of the blue, the door swung open. The sound startled L, causing him to cling on to the man in front of him. His arms were wrapped around the colonel's chest tightly with no sign of letting go, he was obviously terrified.

"Am I interrupting something?" Hawkeye asked acerbically with a smirk planted on her pretty mouth.

Roy quickly pulled away from the embrace, "N-no! Hawkeye! Will you please show the detective to the dorms?"

Her grin instantly dissolved into neutral "Yes sir."

L slowly walked over to the lieutenant. He turned around and gave the colonel one sorry look, and then followed Hawkeye to the dorms without another word.

"Sir, is there something you want to talk about?" Hawkeye had asked a few minutes after she got back to the office.

"No I'm fine." Roy replied sulkily, resting his head on his palm.

"Okay, but if you want to talk, I'll always listen."

_You like women right, Roy? Hawkeye's a woman. Slap her ass._

_No, I'm not going to slap her ass_

_Do it. What do you have to loose?_

_She is really pretty…_

_Yeah that's why you should slap her ass_…

Roy reluctantly gave Hawkeye's behind a smack. She instantaneously dropped whatever she was holding and turned around to face the violator. "Colonel Mustang!"

"What! Don't you like that?" Roy said defensively, throwing his arms in the air.

"What? No! You can't just do that to a woman! That's sexual harassment Colonel."

"Sorry! Sorry! I didn't know!"

"Of course you knew! That is terribly disrespectful to women everywhere. If you have feelings for a woman, you are supposed to ask them out to dinner, or coffee, and develop a relationship. You're not supposed to violate them just out of no where!" The blond lieutenant ranted. "And if you wanted something, you could have asked, you didn't have to-"

"Okay, I wont do it again."

"Hell yeah, you wont do it again." Hawkeye added and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry." The remorseful colonel mumbled again.

_I knew that was a bad idea._

Hawkeye calmed herself down a little, "Are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about?"

Roy let out a deep sigh, "No Hawkeye. I'm fine."

"I _know_ you're not fine. Come on, tell me about it, you know I'll listen to whatever you have to say and take your side no matter what."

She had a point...

* * *

A/N: The length of this chapter, I know it's pathetic... And it hasn't been beta'd and I kinda half-assed it alot and there's just some serious lazy writing and OOCness, and for that I'm sorry. But hey, at least I updated on time. ^^


	5. Light's Contradicting Thoughts

A/N: It's finally here! And it's only been what? Two weeks and one day? That's not too bad I suppose… This is the first time I've ever been late updating… I won't lie, it's probably going to happen again. Oh! Oh! Oh! Right! Aaaaannnndd I update on Fridays now…  
Don't hate me too much ^^;

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Death Note, but if I did, it would go a little something like this…

Warnings: Sadomasochistic fantasies, language, YAOI, OOCness, Near bashing…

* * *

Epic Fullmetal Alchemist Death Note Crossover  
The Death Note Chapter  
Light's Contradicting Thoughts

_L is gone. L is really, truly, actually, gone… for good…_

On the outside, Light Yagami was confounded, devastated, in complete and total disarray. Of course, that's how chief of police, Soichiro Yagami's son would act in this situation. It was the _proper_ way to act when one of your most valuable coworkers up and leaves _just_ when a very neat piece of evidence is discovered that could open tons of new doors for the case. It was uncanny, unfortunate, and just an overall terrible ordeal… for any normal member of the task force that is…

But Light _wasn't_ any ordinary task force member, he was Kira.

On the inside, he was ecstatic. Sure, Light wanted L dead, but this was great too. L was gone! Now Light had nothing to worry about, the world was his and no one was in his way.

Though, L _did _mention a replacement… he could never be _half _the detective that L was, Light was sure.

_I should still be careful… just in case… _Light supposed while raking a hand through his hair. _If this guy was handpicked by L to lead the case, he must be pretty good… Well, whatever happens I'll fix it, and I wont let anything stand in my way of becoming God of the new world. I am justice._ _And I will always be justice._

"Hello, I'm Near."

Who the hell did this albino bastard think he was? He was only a kid!

"I've come to take over the case."

That manner of speaking sounded kind of like L's… was he trying to be him or mock him or… OH, if that, that _bastard_ thinks he can get away with  
mocking L he'd _better_ think again. Little bitch.

"I understand that L left the case because of his personal feelings for one of you. First of all, I'd like to say that you won't have to worry about me doing anything as unprofessional as that."

How old his he? Fourteen? No fourteen year-old is that mature.

"In my opinion, by leaving the case the way he did, L is a failure."

Oh hell no, he did _not_ just go there. It took every ounce of willpower Light had _not _to punch him in the face.

"Sorry, I offended you."

Damn right he offended him. "Err, no, that's not it." Light tried to remain as polite as humanely possible. "I just, need a minute." The irate teenager made his way to the nearest exit. He figured that the best thing to do was just to leave before he said anything he'd regret later.

Light went up to the room that he and L used to share. They used to sleep in the same bed, and at times the sexual tension would be unbearable.

L would be biting his nail or eating a cupcake or something cute like that, and Light would just stare at him. He would stare and think about all the things he could do to him… In one vision, Light would whip L repeatedly. The mere _thought_ of the detective's back glistening with sweat, covered in random crisscrossing cerise strokes, and arched in pure agony was enough to give him an arousal.

L would say, "What are you staring at?" not even looking up from his computer.

And Light would stupidly reply, "There's something in your hair." And slowly pretend to pick an imaginary object out of his thick sable mane. At that moment, he would reluctantly pull away and then rush off to the bathroom to satisfy his urges.

Every night a different fantasy, a different stupid excuse, but it all ended the same way.

"Son, are you okay" The sound of his father's voice snapped him out of his reverie. Light looked up, unaware of the angry tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Yeah," Light sniffled and rubbed his face in his tan colored sleeve.

"You're crying." Soichiro stated plainly.

"I'm not crying." Light defended while obviously crying.

Soichiro didn't bother to argue; he just sat next to his son and passed him a handkerchief, he looked like he needed it.

"I can't believe that _kid_ is replacing L." Light verbalized with extreme distaste after wiping his eyes.

"I'm not too fond of him myself, Light." Soichiro confessed honestly, patting his distressed son on the back.

"Dad, can I have a minute, to think about stuff?"

"Of course son, why don't you take a nap or something?" Soichiro suggested as he sauntered toward the door. "Come back whenever you feel better."

"You love him don't you?" Light was getting sick of people sneaking up on him.

"No, Ryuk." Well, not really a person per se…

"If you love him so much, then why don't you marry him?"

"Ryuk, I don't love him." That damned Shinigami could be so annoying sometimes…

"While you're out getting married, you should pick me up an apple."

"I'm really not in the mood, Ryuk."

"I see that… let's be serious though, what're you gonna do about it? Loving him, I mean." Ryuk hovered Light, leaning in close. He wanted to hear his answer.

Light sat up on the bed, rubbing his hand around the side that L used to sleep on. "What?"

"Go after him." Ryuk urged in an almost whisper.

"What?" Why was Ryuk acting so out of character?*

"I know where he went… I could take you there, if you want…"

"But, wait, why? I thought you said you were never on my side… Why are you being so thoughtful all of a sudden?"

"I've been in this world too long… I'm getting soft." Ryuk laughed a little. "Besides, with L gone it's going to be boring as hell."  
Light chuckled softly. "Okay."

* * *

A/N: *Because I'm terrible.  
Okay, nothing special about that chapter, a little cliffhanger, but nothing too epic or suspenseful…  
Also if you put this on your subscription list (I can see who you are -.-) should really review, because I'd love to hear from you ^^


	6. Misa's Obsession

A/N: Heeeey guys…

Uh.. Sorry.

I'll never do that to you all ever again I promise!

I give a HUGE thank you to anyone who has waited for my lazy ass to finish this chapter for over three months now.

You guys rock, I love each and everyone of you.

Epic Fullmetal Alchemist Death Note Crossover

Chapter 5

Misa's Obsession

"HEY! OHMYGAWSH! IT'S LIGHT!" Misa cried in astonishment as she watched her precious love fly away on the back of Ryuk. "Rem, Where are they going?"

"I don't know Misa." The just as confused Shinigami answered calmly. "Do you want to follow them?"

"Well duh! C'mon Rem! Let's go!" The saffron-haired wench roared while jumping hastily on the unsuspecting Shinigami's back.

Without another word, Rem took off into the night, in pursuit of Light the human, and Ryuk the Shinigami.

_I wonder where they're going…_

Without warning, a huge, obscure, onyx wall of mist stopped Rem and Misa in their tracks. Misa was _entranced_ by the streams of dark violet and azure swimming about in the inky-black abyss. There was another color too, one that Misa had never seen before, there were different hues of it swirling around with the purples and blues as if they were eels or jellyfish swimming in a sea of oil.

"It's… beautiful…" Misa uttered softly in fascination. "Rem, can I… touch it?" the enchanted girl slowly began to move her index finger closer and closer to the mass in front of her.

"No, Misa!" Rem scolded as she grabbed her wrist. "I can't believe… they went through The Portal?"

"Rem, did Light go… _through there?_"

"It appears he did Misa. I have heard of The Portal before, but no one in The Shinigami Realm really knows anything about it… I don't know what business Light and Ryuk had over on the other side of The Portal, but…"

"_But _what? Rem!" Misa was worried for her dear Light's life. Rem seemed truly frightened of this "Portal" thing…

"We can't risk it Misa. There's no way I'm letting you go through there, it is too dangerous." Rem decided protectively.

"WHAT? No!" Misa was aghast, "Rem~ you have to let me go!"

Rem couldn't resist that girl's big sparkly, pleading eyes. "OK, fine Misa. Do as you wish, but it might be extremely painful, do you still want to go?"

"Yes, of course." Misa spoke seriously

Rem slowly entered the vast pool of murky uncertainty. Misa closed her eyes in fear tightly clutching onto the ivory Shinigami, trembling slightly, preparing herself for the worst. After the first few seconds of painless passing, the golden-haired girl opened her eyes an looked around. She was in some kind of dark room filled with different greys and blacks surrounding her like fog.

Out of nowhere she saw a silhouette of her parents in the distance.

"Mom? Dad!" She shouted, jumping off of Rem and sprinting towards the figures.

"Misa! Where are you going?" Rem called in concern as she followed the impulsive woman intently.

But Misa didn't even notice the Shinigami in pursuit of her, she was entirely focused on the figure in front of her. It seemed, the closer she got, the clearer they became.

Big-ass Studio Ghibli tears poured out of her eyes as she ran. "MOM! DAD!" I'm coming for you! Stay right there!" She leaped into the arms of her father, "Daddy, I-"

Misa's exuberant joy quickly faded into horror as her father's face became contorted. His dark, tawny eyes that were filled with such warmth just a second ago dissolved back into his head, and his mouth grew to twice the size it was before. His milky white teeth morphed into sharp, sickly white arrow-head shapes and his skin faded into a sallow shade of grey that might resemble a cloud right before it rains.

Misa hastily backed away from the thing. The flustered child turned to look at her mother, "Mom?" Sure enough, her mother was reduced to the same scary state that her father was in. "REEEEEEEEMMMMMMM!" She cried in utter terror, backing away from the menacing creatures as they continued to smile sadistically at her.

The Ivory Shinigami embraced the frightened Misa in an attempt to comfort her as the weird monsters floated away from the scene. "It's OK Misa. It's OK."

"My-my parents… and I-I-I-… they…" she stuttered, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Shh," Rem whispered consolingly. "You don't have to say anything right now if you don't want to."

With that, the girl fell to her knees in lamentation.

"Misa?" Rem said softly, slightly nudging her awake.

"Mmm…?" Misa had passed out not long after her fit of crying and was now waking up, groggy and confused. "Oh, Rem. What's-?"

"We're here Misa." The Shinigami stated bluntly. "This is where you get off."

"What do you mean?" Misa asked, still stupid from sleep.

"There is some kind of barrier here." Rem placed her pallid, lanky hand a few centimeters away from the door. A translucent bubble appeared and Rem's hand could not pass through it. "I cannot enter here, but you can. I will keep going until I find another exit. Perhaps I will find Ryuk and get to the bottom of this."

"But-" Misa tried to protest.

"Go, Misa. Do not worry about me. I will not keep you here in this dreadful place any longer than you need to be. Do not worry about me, find Light, I will find you soon, I promise."

"Okay. Thank you, Rem." _Thank you for everything._

A/N: Okay, so nothing really happened in this chapter. I know what you're thinking "AUGH, Bitch! She goes on hiatus for like 3 months and then writes this bullshit filler? WTF?"

Yeah, I know, sorry about that, but this chapter it the gateway to an awesome side story I've got planned out, It'll all be worth it in the end, trust me.

In other news, I'm going to just start updating whenever I can instead of once a week, because of how great that plan turned out. :p

Also I have crap-tons of new super special awesome ideas for oneshots, so be on the look out for those, I'll write them over the next few weeks.

So, uh, meeting adjourned, Have a nice day, and cookies for everyone! ^^


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